There are Mexicans everywhere. Not just in Mexico. That was by far the deepest thing he said to me. None of this rises to the level of stand-up comedy routine. I remember falling down the stairs. Endlessly. I believe in the power that holds rice crispy treats together. Start with the second draft my mother always said. You can’t get grant money to write nursery rhymes. I hope it all works out in the end for you. There are so many pretty girls but so few have perfect noses. Trivial but true. A bone to pick. An axe to grind. One good whack on the behind. Who would you rather have covering your back in a street fight: Lindsey Lohan, Hilary Duff, or Amanda Bynes? Is thinking too much good or bad? I can never remember. Writing is a form of sadism. What if you had to create a third form of currency? Paper bills, coins, and what else? Could you do it? What if they were holding your family hostage, too? Can you imagine the pressure? There’s no point in trying to be hip. I need 174,239 people. We’ll each get one of the 174,240 frames of the original cut of Star Wars tattooed on our chests. Optimism grows in me like a cancer. I don’t have anything in common with Hitler. I don’t even like dogs. Verbal poisoning. Like Sinatra with a forked tongue. He rained a bevy of punches on the lad. In the morning we take Copenhagen. More and more I find myself planning my outfits weeks in advance. What will the future bring and when will it bring it? The man rolled down his window and barked at the girl to throw the damn snowball. She complied missing her target by six feet. How long do you have to sit in the dark before you hear the devil singing? The fifth was always my favorite lash. I named my children after earthquakes. The leading edge of the storm hit Pittsburgh. The rivers swelled with confetti. At the zoo, the monkeys eyed the children suspiciously. God doesn’t have a bake sale because He needs money, He has a bake sale because He likes for there to be a place where people can buy and sell homemade baked goods.