I got sent across the street to the hardware store to buy a can of black spray paint. I didn't get a bag, so I'm walking back through the parking lot with the item in my hand. I see a white van that someone has written words across the side of in black spray paint parked at one of the meters. I'm sure someone has seen me. I'm sure they're making a phone call. Male, short hair, about 87 lbs., skinny as hell. Wanted on suspicion of vandalism. I keep waiting for the cops to appear. I know it's coming. I'll have to convince them that it wasn't me. Yeah, I'm holding a can of black spray paint but it wasn't me. Okay? Why would I do that? They'd believe me, right?