Saturday, December 03, 2005

I only ended up 49,751 words short in my National Novel Writing Month novel. I think I was going for something in the science fiction-erotic-humor genre.

The silver, caterpillar shaped spacecraft slowed as it approached the asteroid field. In a universe filled with over the counter genetically modified miracle diet parasites, cranially implanted AM radios, cheap Martian thrills, and cheaper Neptunian whores, this was the last place a man could get his hands dirty and earn a good, honest wage. Unfortunately, the spacecraft, the God's Honest Truth, was manned entirely by women, and its captain, Blue Jay Gould, was a compulsive liar. In the ship's science lab, Blue Jay Gould stared disapprovingly at the scene before her. The severed head of a toad stared back from its jar. The toad blinked, and, in broken English, began to recite Shakespeare's 18th sonnet. Blue Jay smiled.
"You fixed him." Said Blue Jay.
Lucy Charms, the ship's science officer, looked up from the pile of electronic components that were strewed about on the workstation before her.
"What's that? Sorry, Captain, I didn't hear you come in." Said Lucy.
"You fixed Billy Ray."
Lucy's brow furrowed as she looked across the lab at the bodiless toad.
"Not quite. I've got him talking again but he's only repeating his original input. His personality extrapolator isn't online yet. I have to reboot him and upload his memories."
"How long is that going to take? We'll be arriving at our destination in fourteen hours and I need my first mate."
"You'll have him by then." Said Lucy. "I'll get right on it. Come back in a couple hours and I'll reattach him."
It's a shame, really. I've got a ton of sci-fi ideas floating around in my head that I'm never going to do anything with.

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