As Neil Diamond would say:
"Hot damn, hot damn, hot damn."

From birth to midnight.

"Destroy him, my robots."

Dirty bomb:
"I don't think it would kill anybody," says Dr Theodore Rockwell, an authority on radiation, in an interview for the series. "You'll have trouble finding a serious report that would claim otherwise." The American department of energy, Rockwell continues, has simulated a dirty bomb explosion, "and they calculated that the most exposed individual would get a fairly high dose [of radiation], not life-threatening." And even this minor threat is open to question. The test assumed that no one fled the explosion for one year.

I'm pretty on the inside.

I'm going to watch the third debate in my pajamas.

Because I'm a bigger man than the president:
1. Not talking to her when I had the chance.
2. Him: "Do you need a job?" Me: "No."
3. Shaving the mohawk.

No more hair on my head.
Had a mohawk for a couple minutes.
Shaved my poor, patchy beard.

Yes it's true.
Howard Dean has no neck.

"Did you color your hair? No, wait.
You're a completely different girl. Sorry."

I'm writing haikus about nipples.

When I have kids I'm going to teach them to run around yelling "beasts, beasts, beasts".
Yes I will.

It has been brought to my attention that my mystique is wearing off.
This calls for bold, dramatic, eye catching action.
This calls for a reckless haircut.

Can anyone give me a real life situation that's like trying to find gold in a silver mine?

How many latex gloves is enough?